Love Attracts Crazy
by PenNuser
Summary: CM, Dharma & Greg style A/U: When Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss meet, it's love at first sight. H/P, M/G, JJ/Reid. Team-centric. Characters crossover: Kitty, Edward, Larry & more. Genres: A little of everything.
1. Episode 1, Part 1: Parents & Boyfriends

_We need more light-hearted romance stories out here. I'm just trying to make a contribution, although this might be a tad borderline Parody. Elizabeth Prentiss will be pretty OOC just to let you know ahead of time. Characters crossover for sure are Kitty, Edward and Larry so it will be an AU past for Aaron Hotchner. There won't be much drama in this like the show, hopefully. I hated it when Dharma kissed Charlie in that one episode._

**Love Attracts Crazy**

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**Summary:**

CM, Dharma & Greg style A/U: When Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss meet, it's love at first sight. H/P, M/G, JJ/Reid. Team-centric. Characters crossover: Kitty, Edward, Larry & more.

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**Episode 1, Part 1: **"Parents and Boyfriends."

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Edward Hotchner was rich. Filthy, _stinkin_' rich. He wasn't going to deny it. Which was probably why the sigh so easily escaped from his lips before he could stop it, as he stared back into the intense brown eyes of his son whom sat with his legs crossed on the chair across from his large mahogany desk. He rubbed his hands together in the awkward silence and frowned at the younger man, looking at him stoically.

"Let me get this straight, Aaron. I'm wealthy, I own a multi-million dollar company that I've offered to you over, I dunno, a dozen times and you still want to go into…what'd you call it – the BA something?"

Much to Edward's dismay, his son slowly smiled. "The BAU – and that about sums it up," he drawled.

"What…what about being a lawyer?"

Aaron grimaced. He shot a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I thought about it, dad," he said slowly. He then brought his hand back down to his lap.

"And?" Edward asked cautiously.

Aaron shrugged. "And it's not worth it. I quit it yesterday."

_Boy, if Kitty found out about this__…_

"You what!"

Edward and Aaron both turned to see Kitty standing in the open doorway, her arms crossed over her yellow blouse, a look of utter disbelief on her face. Aaron went to stand up. "Mother, look," he tried.

Kitty held up a hand to stop him. He clamped his mouth shut and sat down, slumping into the chair slightly as his mother strolled into the office. "Don't _you_ 'mother' me," she said.

"Kitty."

Edward sighed as Kitty began to pace, ignoring both son and husband.

"Oh, Edward. I can't believe what I just heard!"

Edward grimaced. Leave it to Kitty to overreact. "And what did you hear?"

Kitty shot him a glare that rivaled Aaron's. _Like mother like son._ "I can't believe _you_, Edward. Can't you be serious for even one second? Your son just said he'd rather take a more chaotic job that endangers his life every chance it gets over a nice, safe, _higher_-paying desk job that _you_, his father, offered to him!"

Edward frowned. He really needed a drink. "Oh. Was that all?"

Kitty looked at him in dismay. "Edward! Aaron, our son, is trying to commit suicide here! And you're just going to sit there and let him do it?"

"I am not, mother," Aaron protested.

Kitty shot him a withering look. "Don't you dare talk to me – I'm very upset with you right now." She looked back at Edward. "And you! I have nothing more to say to you too."

Edward held back a sigh. His eyes darted to Aaron and then back to Kitty. "So we're done talking?"

Kitty didn't say anything. She turned on her heels and left the room. Edward turned back to face Aaron. For a long moment, neither of them said a word to each other. Then…

"Want to get drunk with me, son?" Edward stood up and fished for his wallet.

Aaron sighed and followed his father out the office. "Sure, why not?"

* * *

><p><em>Love knew no bounds.<em>

Emily Prentiss gritted her teeth together as she watched the woman and man tongue wrestle with each other. Was Elizabeth still mad at her daughter for bringing home that man she met at a bar the other night without asking for her permission first?

_But this wasn't love. At least she hoped it wasn't._

She clenched her hands tightly in her lap as they continued to try and rip each other's hairs out (and not their clothes thankfully). This was an office, a workplace, a supposed sanctuary that Emily came to appreciate (until this morning). Emily glanced at the door. She could just imagine at any moment now, someone was going to open that door and find her mother, the ambassador and some smelly old dude with a ponytail feeling each other up right here, in public, in the ambassador's office and Emily was just going to die of embarrassment.

She watched helplessly as the man bit her mother's lip and her mother let out a low groan. That was enough. Emily stood up. She couldn't take it anymore. Never again would she take a man to her mother's house. Point taken. Lesson learned. She got it. She stalked over to the door. But she froze as her hand touched the handle.

"Not so fast, Emily," came her mother's voice.

Emily tried not to groan herself. _What now? _"Yes?"

"Come over here and listen to your mother right now, young lady!"

Emily grimaced. _What?_

"You don't have to yell, Larry. I didn't really say anything to her yet," Elizabeth chided softly.

"Ri-ight. Got it. Sorry."

Emily turned anyway. And instantly wished she didn't. Her mother looked a little disheveled. Her arms still wrapped around the man's waist. Larry had a dumb grin on his face. _This was a match made in hell, not heaven._

"I get the point," Emily blurted out.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at the declaration. She knew immediately what Emily meant by it. She looked over to her new boyfriend. Larry had furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, apparently not sure what she was talking about. But that was OK. He would soon enough. She gestured for Emily to sit again.

Emily sighed and took the chair she had before. "I won't bring any more guys to the house without your permission."

"And?" Elizabeth prompted.

Emily stared at her mother blankly. "And what? That's it."

"No. You will not bring any more men home _period_."

"Period?" Emily echoed slowly. Did she hear that right? "As in not at _all_? Not even to my own apartment?"

"That's right. I won't have my daughter dating," Elizabeth said. "Period."

Emily pursed her lips. Was this really happening? "Mother! I'm a grown woman!"

"_Period_," Elizabeth repeated. "End of story."

"Are you kidding me? You can't tell me what to do!"

Larry looked between the two. It was a staring contest between mother and daughter. He wondered if now was one of those times when the man had to step in. _It is, you buffoon _a part of him said. But not before…He looked blankly at Elizabeth. The woman seemed to sense him staring and said forcefully, "What is it, Larry?"

"Can I say it now?" he asked, gesturing to what he said earlier.

Elizabeth looked at him in disbelief. Was he _really_ asking for permission? Her last husband wasn't nearly as submissive as this. "Yes. Yes, I believe you can," she said once she gathered her wits back. _I don't like him for his brain – or lack of one, remember that, Elizabeth._

Larry gave her a lopsided grin and kissed her on the lips. "I love you, hunny," he murmured.

Elizabeth froze. _Love?_

Emily looked from one to the other suspiciously. _What the hell was going on here? _As far as she knew, they'd only met a week ago. She narrowed her eyes further. _Wait, how did they meet anyway?_

"What's going on?" she asked loudly.

The man and woman pulled away quickly. "Listen to your mother," Larry snapped suddenly.

Emily stared at him, disbelief written all over her face. Larry then turned back to Elizabeth and the two shared a look that made Emily want to puke. "How was that?" Larry asked.

Elizabeth smirked. "Very," she paused. "Commanding."

"Not too commanding?"

Emily sank deep into her chair. "No. Just perfect." This was going to be a very, very long day. She just knew it.


	2. Episode 1, Part 2: Friends Like These

_This has **got** to be one of the most bizarre ideas I have down on paper yet. I've read a few D&G crossovers but they're almost always one-shots and most of them are always Hotch as Greg or Greg as Hotch. I figure in this story, I ought to mix the two characters into one. So Aaron keeps the name Aaron but also keeps some qualities that made Greg (I suppose it comes with the parents). OK, 2nd time's the charm, hopefully._

**Love Attracts Crazy**

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**Summary:**

CM, Dharma & Greg style A/U: When Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss meet, it's love at first sight. H/P, M/G, JJ/Reid. Team-centric. Characters crossover: Kitty, Edward & Larry.

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**Episode 1, Part 2: **"Friends Like These."

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"Geezus louise. Think ya had enough to drink?"

"Are you kidding me? I haven't had nearly enough, pal," Edward said as he took another swig from the bottle. "Not _nearly_ enough."

The man beside him smirked. "Women trouble?" he asked.

"Something like that. Although I hardly view Kitty as a woman now a days."

The man's eyebrows shot up before taking a sip of champagne. "_Kitty_?"

Aaron came back to the bar with a large pitcher of alcohol and three glasses. He sat down in between the two men. "My mother, his wife," he explained.

The man raised his eyebrows higher. "Wait. This is your father, Aaron?" he asked wryly.

Edward frowned. "You know this man, son?" He finished the last of his bottle and set it down next to the pitcher.

Aaron shrugged. "Yes and yes. Dad, this is Dave, my new boss. Dave, this is my dad, Edward Montgomery-Hotchner."

Edward turned to stare at the man. Dave stared back. Aaron grinned and stood up. "I'm going to go tip a random waiter now and let you guys get to know each other some more." Then before either of them could reply, he had already taken out a wad of bills and rushed off to find a waiter.

Dave cleared his throat. "So you're Aaron's father. I heard a lot about you."

Edward turned back to the bar and poured himself a shot. "Oh really? He didn't say a damn thing about you."

Dave winced. _Just like Aaron to forget. _"Well I hope you're not _too_ upset." He raised his glass to his lips again.

"Why would I be upset? It's his choice on what to do with his life," Edward said. "If he wants to go into the god awful BUA something, that's his goddamn choice. Right?"

"BAU, sir," Dave corrected. He furrowed his brows as he watched the man gulp down the liquor. _If it weren't for the 'god awful' and 'goddamn' parts, I'd think this is going pretty well. _"Anyway, I hope you don't mind we'll be leaving a little earlier than planned."

Edward paused and looked at him. Dave could see the confusion on his face. "What are you talking about 'leaving'?"

"We're flying to Virginia tonight," Dave said.

"Really now?" Edward's eyebrows shot up. "Virginia?"

Now it was Dave's turn to be confused. "Yes we're located in Quantico, Virginia. Didn't Aaron tell you?"

"No." Edward sighed and finished the remainder of his shot in one large gulp. "Apparently his mother and I aren't good enough for the truth anymore."

_Oh boy, Aaron, you really screwed this one up, didn't ya?_

* * *

><p>"I quit."<p>

Emily stared at her mother in dismay. _Did I really just hear that right? _"Excuse me?"

Elizabeth looked at her, her eyes daring her to argue back. "I said 'I quit'." Then she turned to the rest of her gathered colleagues and subordinates. "Any questions?"

Larry latched onto her arm. "You tell 'em, Sugar – the big, bad, money robbing machine of the world shall be no more!"

Elizabeth squeezed the man's arm. "Yes, Larry, let's tell _everyone_ that, shall we?"

"Ow, ow, ow! Not too tight. Honey. Not too tight," Larry wheezed. "OK, OK. You win."

The woman smirked. "Good. Now if there are no questions, you'll have to excuse us. We have a lot of catching up to do when we get home, am I right, Larry?"

Emily watched in silent horror as her mother and Larry started to head for the door. _Can this get any worse? _Larry grinned. "Is that when we have sexual intercourse?"

"Larry!"

Emily let out a moan. _Leave it to Larry. Just leave it to Larry._

* * *

><p>"Em, is that you? I heard what happened. Are you OK?"<p>

Emily spun around on her heels. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the familiar face of a friend. "Oh thank god it's you, Elle."

Elle Greenaway walked up to her and placed a comforting hand on her friend's tense shoulder. Sympathy was written all over her face. "Was it as bad as I heard?"

Emily winced. "What do you think? She quit," she drawled. "And made me the laughing stock of the whole bureau with that loony boyfriend of hers while she was at it," she added under her breath. Emily folded her arms in front of her.

Elle sighed. "It can't be _that_ bad."

Just as soon as she said that, two men passed by them in the hallway. The black, baldheaded man grinned at the two women and slung an arm around his lankier partner.

"Have a good day, ladies." He winked knowingly at Emily before turning back to his friend.

Emily looked pointedly at Elle. "You saw that, didn't you?"

Elle rolled her eyes. "He just said 'Have a good day, ladies.' How is that proof that he knows?"

"Are you serious? Did you not see his wink and smirk? He knows. He definitely knows," Emily said.

"Or maybe he's just trying to be nice and you're acting way too paranoid."

Emily snorted. "Nice? Do you even know who that guy was?"

"Derek Morgan. 34 years old. Single. Moved from Chicago, Illinois. Currently reports to Jason Gideon. And a total _player_," Elle added with a grin.

"See? There's nothing _nice_ about a player," Emily said.

Elle raised an eyebrow. "Except his charm and outer appearance?"

"He's not charming, Elle."

Elle frowned. "You're not a lesbian, are you, Em?"

"No," Emily snorted.

"Then what guy does appeal to you?"

A few other people passed them in the hall, each of them grinning widely at Emily. Emily groaned and wrapped her hand around Elle's. "Come on. I think I'm gonna catch my break early today. What are you hungry for right now?"


	3. Episode 1, Part 3: We're Coming With You

_No Emily in this one. Sorry. But next part should be the last part of the episode (and you all remember what happened in the first episode, right?). _

**Love Attracts Crazy**

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**Summary:**

CM, Dharma & Greg style A/U: When Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss meet, it's love at first sight. H/P, M/G, JJ/Reid. Team-centric. Characters crossover: Kitty, Edward & Larry.

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**Episode 1, Part 3: **"We're Coming With You."

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"No. Absolutely not, Aaron. I am standing my ground this time. I forbid you from going. Back me up, Edward."

"Back you up with what?"

Kitty sighed, "Just tell him he's not going."

"Oh." Edward turned to his son. "You're not going."

Aaron was not having this. He glanced down at his watch, then back at Dave whom found a comfortable position on one of Kitty's expensive couches. He simply stared back. _Not today, pal. _He looked back Kitty. _Is it just my mother that's difficult or is it programmed into all mothers to give their children a hard time? _He then looked at Edward. The man was staring blankly into his empty coffee mug. _And what about you? Aren't you supposed to be on my side?_

"I'm going, mother. Whether you like it or not." _OK, that sounded way better in my head_.

Kitty raised an eyebrow at her son's loud declaration. _This is why I am the decision maker in this household_. "You are not. Your father and I already said no."

"Mother! With all due respect, mother, but don't you find it a bit absurd that I'm already 39 and yet I still live with you guys?"

Kitty frowned. "What's wrong with 39? Edward didn't move out of his own father's estate until he was at least 30."

Edward snorted. "You mean until I was able to run my own damn company."

Kitty patted Edward on the arm. "Yes, yes, sorry, sorry. That's exactly what I had meant."

Aaron shook his head. He couldn't believe how his own mother was behaving. _And in front of my boss for Christ's sake_. He shot Dave an apologetic look before turning fully to the door in Edward's study. "Come on, Dave. We're leaving."

Dave stood and grinned. This was way more fun than any of his book tours.

"Aaron, we're not done yet. Do not step one foot out that door!"

Aaron spun sharply to see the acidic look on Kitty's face. He glared. "Or you'll what? Cut my allowance down? Ground me from TV? Why are you so against me going to Quantico?"

Kitty took a step forward, "Because you have obligations just as your father has his and I have mine. Who's to run the Montgomery Cooperation when the time comes?"

_Crap_. Aaron froze. _I completely forgot_. He looked over to Dave. The man didn't seem willing to step in to help his friend out. It was Aaron's call. But he couldn't just back out of the decision now. He wanted the job. He wanted_ this_. Kitty had to understand. Aaron stared at his mother. _I'm going to make her understand and hopefully not lose my head in the process_. "I already made my choice, mother," he said as softly as he could.

Kitty opened her mouth to argue. For a moment, Aaron feared nothing would get his mother to just let him go to the airport. He glanced down at his watch again. Dave already booked the tickets. The plane was leaving tonight. Aaron looked back up. To his amazement, Kitty clamped her mouth shut. _Tell me I finally made her see light_.

Edward pulled Kitty back. "I think you should really let the boy go or they'll be late, Kitty," he murmured.

Kitty sighed. She didn't understand why Aaron felt compelled to do this and she probably never will, but it didn't seem like she was going to win any time soon… "I suppose you're right." She paused, looking thoughtful. She looked up at her son. "Aaron, I've decided you can go on one condition."

Aaron raised an eyebrow. He didn't like the sound of that. He licked his lips. "And that is?"

"Your father and I are coming with you."

* * *

><p>"What."<p>

"You can't be serious, Kitty."

"I didn't see that coming."

Kitty glanced briefly at the three men. Her son was gaping at her. Her husband was staring. And Dave, the man she was beginning to dislike, was smirking as if this was a party. "Oh don't act all surprised," she said casually as she headed through the open archway. "Now Aaron, dear, we're taking your father's car. If you don't want to miss your flight, I suggest you all meet me there."

"Wait, wait, wait! Wait a second, mother." Dazedly, Aaron shook his head to himself before rushing over to stop Kitty."You can't just say you're coming and come with a snap of your fingers."

Kitty raised an eyebrow. "Why can't I?"

Aaron furrowed his brows. _Can you hear yourself sometimes, mother? _He felt a hand rest lightly on his shoulders. Glancing behind him he saw Edward there. "Well for starters, what's going to happen to dad's company if he isn't here to take care of it?"

Kitty snorted and waved a hand. "Oh,_ that_? We can just call up Sean."

"Sean? Mother! Sean's all the way in New York!"

"So? We'll explain the situation to him and have him fly down here first thing tomorrow morning."

"He's a chef, mother."

"All the more reason for him to take the offer."

Aaron sighed. "He's not going to take it. You know that."

"He can't be making _that_ much money."

"It's his _dream_ job. He isn't just going to quit it. Trust me."

"Oh nonsense."

"It's true, Kitty. You can't beat a _dream_ job."

"Edward, you're not helping."

"What? I'm just saying."

"And besides, what of your charity fundraisers, mother? And that club you always attend? You can't just give all that up!"

Kitty raised an eyebrow. "Now you care about obligations?"

Aaron furrowed his brows. Why did his mother always insist on fighting him so much? "I've always cared about my obligations, mother. I just decided on a more important one than running dad's company."

Kitty stiffened. "There's no use arguing with you, is there?"

Aaron shook his head. "No, there isn't," he said softly.

"Then you already know mine. My condition still stands."

Aaron sighed. "Yes, mother. Just don't call Sean, whatever you do."

"Fine. Edward, call up one of your crazy relatives to take over for a while. But don't call that _other_ one. What was her name again?"

Edward fidgeted. "I don't recall." He went to get the phone.

"Elizabeth, mother, Elizabeth," Aaron said all too cheerfully.

Kitty gritted her teeth. "That's the one, dear. How could I have ever forgotten _that_ name?" She watched her husband dial in a number. "Remember to tell them it's only temporary."

"Yes, dear," Edward said.

Dave grinned as Aaron walked over to him. They could hear Kitty asking Edward, "Who are you calling?"

"Oh that one nice fella, Brent."

"No. Not him, Edward. Anyone but him!"

"Why not?"

"Do you not notice anything that goes on around you? That Brent _fellow_ has been after your company for years!"

"So what? That'll just mean he'll do a better job than anyone else!"

They heard Kitty sigh in exasperation. "You will not call him, Edward."

Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose. He was going to end up with a headache before they even left the estate. "I'm sorry about tonight," he said.

Dave snorted. "Forget about it. This was actually pretty fun."

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Really," Dave nodded. "I wish my book tours were all like this."

"Like this? Filled with drama?"

Dave smiled. "Yeah. Something like that."

Aaron grimaced. He looked ready to comment when Kitty and Edward finally came back over. "Let's go now. Oh and, Aaron, as for my charity fundraisers, I can just start over once we land in Quantico. Did you know your father owns an estate over there?" Kitty made her way past her son's gaping form, a satisfied smile plastered to her face.

Edward patted his son's back sympathetically as he reluctantly followed his wife. "Sorry, son."

Aaron sighed and silently pushed off the wall, trailing after his dad, Dave right behind him.


	4. Episode 1, Part 4: Plane Rides & Coffee

_I absolutely hate the new layout with the ads blocker at the bottom, the sections listed by popularity, the stories with image icons next to them, and the summaries at the top of each chapter page. Pretty much everything the adminstrators changed. Sorry for the long wait. I have no reason to not update this for so long, only excuses. Here's hoping it'll be decent. _

_P.S. if anyone is wondering why this story is more focused on Hotch, I wanna say that back in Dharma & Greg, I felt that the show had way too much focus on Dharma. I realize it was her show but...this is to make up for it (to me). Also take note, this isn't really the finale of the "episode" as I hoped it'd be. Sorry. I had to cut it off here because I felt it was getting to be too long._

**Love Attracts Crazy**

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**Summary:**

CM, Dharma & Greg style A/U: When Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss meet, it's love at first sight. H/P, M/G, JJ/Reid. Team-centric. Characters crossover: Kitty, Edward & Larry.

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**Episode 1, Part 4: **"Plane Rides & Coffee."

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"Six. Next?"

"Wait. What? A six? _Only _a six?"

"Yes. Now who's next? Oh. OH. What about that guy? I'd give him a nine."

"Nine? What makes him a nine and him a six? I don't get it. Don't you see the _hair_? The _muscles_? He must be at least bordering six foot!"

"But this guy's got _dimples_. You can't ever go wrong with dimples, Elle. It's just not possible."

"He's got dimples too. Watch. Just wait for it. See? Do you see that? Now tell me again why he only pulled a six."

"OK. OK. You got me. I just like my men tall, dark, and handsome."

"I do too, Em, but the guy's wearing glasses. He's too serious looking and he must be what, in his middle age by now?"

Emily shrugged and dipped a french-fry into the ketchup. "So I'm into older guys. Big deal."

Elle looked Emily over with interest before turning back to inspect the swarm of people gathered in the mall's large, open cafeteria. Her eyes lingered by the Starbucks area that was located across the room. "Well, look who decided to show up here with us," she hissed to Emily, jerking her thumb at the line.

Emily smirked when she caught sight of the tall, lanky figure of Morgan's lackey from earlier today. He smoothed his hair back as he made his way to the front. The woman behind the counter didn't bother to ask what he wanted before she moved to make his order. Emily figured he'd been there so often that the woman that served him was well accustomed to his orders, that she had it practically memorized by now. It was actually sort of impressive.

"Think he'll come over here?" Emily whispered.

"Maybe if he sees us," Elle said. She looked through the line again, as if trying to find someone. "If _he's _here, do you think Morgan is too?"

"Yeah, probably. I mean they do seem like close friends after all," Emily murmured.

The lanky guy paid for the coffee and took the two cups from the woman. He smiled slightly and turned to find an empty table in the middle. He spotted the two women almost immediately and his smile turned into a grin.

Emily wasn't really all that surprised when he made his way over to them. When he finally arrived, however, he just stood there. As if he only got far as thinking he'll walk over to them and then everything went blank right after.

Still hugging the cups to his chest, he extended a hand out, "Uh, hi. I couldn't help but notice you guys had some extra seats here. The other tables are, uh, kinda occupied and um, well, we met (sorta) earlier."

His face was beet red near the end and Emily couldn't help but find herself feeling a little bit sorry for the poor guy. She reached out and shook his hand before gesturing for him to take a seat. "Yeah, OK. We've got room. My name's Emily Prentiss by the way."

Elle snorted as she looked him over. "Elle Greenaway. Your friend's here too I take it."

The lanky guy nodded as he gratefully took a seat across from them and set the cups down. "Morgan? Yeah. He went to find a bathroom earlier. He should be coming back any minute now. My name's Spencer Reid."

"Spencer. Hm." Elle took a bite of her french-fry. "I like it."

Spencer grimaced. "Glad to have your approval."

* * *

><p>"Mother, we can't go yet."<p>

"And why can't we? They just called for first class."

"Well isn't it obvious, Kitty? We don't have the right tickets."

"Edward, dear, can you please stop and think every once in a while? When have we ever had anything other than first class?"

"Uh…never?"

"Good, good. So what makes you think we're not first class now?"

"Because the tickets say we aren't."

"What?"

"Dammit, Kitty, did you even bother to read the tickets?"

"What…that can't be right. Let me see them."

"They're about to call us now, mother. Come on, please."

"Just a second, Aaron. This can't be right. Who bought these tickets?"

"I did, ma'am. I figured it was just going to be me and Aaron but I had a couple extras for middle."

"Why would you carry extras?"

"Just in case."

* * *

><p>Aaron sighed as he hauled his bag into the top compartment. He peered over his shoulder to see Edward doing the same on the other side and Kitty badgering her husband about the estate in Virginia. Dave pushed his own bags into the compartment to his left and sat down in the middle aisle.<p>

After a few minutes of struggling to close the compartment, Aaron took the seat to the right of Dave. Edward and Kitty sat to the left.

Everyone put on their seatbelts as the plane started to take off.

"So, David, what exactly do you do?" Kitty asked as silence descended over the plane. It was a good thirty minutes into the flight and Kitty was tired of looking over the same magazine.

Edward was close to dozing off.

Dave grinned. "I write for a living."

"He's pretty popular for it," Aaron chimed in.

Kitty looked at Dave curiously. "Oh, you write? What do you write about?"

"Serial killers, ma'am," Dave said. "I write about how the human mind works, a bit similar to Jason's only darker."

"Jason who?" Kitty asked, settling back into her seat. From the slight change in her tone, Aaron could tell she was becoming disinterested in the conversation now.

"Jason Gideon," he informed his mother. He leaned over to Dave. "Do you happen to have a copy of Gideon's latest book?"

Dave raised an eyebrow and scratched his beard in thought. "Maybe I do but it'd be in the bag." He started to unclasp the seatbelt. "Want me to see if I got it?"

Aaron shook his head and Dave paused. "It'll be too much trouble for you and besides, the trip only takes a few hours at most. We'll be there before nightfall. I think I can manage."

"Very insightful of you," Dave said as he put his seatbelt back on.

"You guys are awfully chummy for a boss and co-worker," Edward commented.

"Dave's not just my boss, dad," Aaron said with a shrug.

"We've been friends for a few years now," Dave agreed.

"How'd you two meet and how come this is the first time I'm hearing this?" Kitty demanded.

Aaron sighed and leaned back. "You remember Pete, mother?"

"Your friend from lawyer school?" Kitty asked after a moment.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, that's the one. Well, it turned out, he knows a guy that has connections."

Dave chuckled. "Are we talking about the same Pete here? Pete Cavanaugh?"

"Oh that guy. The one that always needs money for women and booze," Edward murmured. "I'm gonna miss that fella."

Aaron furrowed his brows, "Right. So it was this one day when I came to work and I had this sudden thought, an epiphany if you will, like what was I really doing with my life? I was putting away the bad guys, sure…but if they had enough money, or people, it's easy for them to break out of their sentence, right? So I told all that to Pete and he said he knew a guy that could get me to meet the _legendary _David Rossi."

Dave nodded, "It was that one phone call, I remember. Aaron had always been interested in profiling and when we met up, I realized he'd already read numerous of my books. I knew it was only a matter of time before he would switch careers. A few weeks ago, I got a call back to the BAU. They want to put me with Jason's team and I thought how nice it'd be for Aaron to meet one of his idols. Aaron is already a natural and Jason would see potential in him. So here we are."

Kitty frowned. "You hid all this from us for _years_?" Aaron grimaced when he heard the hurt in her voice. "Why?"

"You've always been kinda controlling, mother," he said in a low voice.

* * *

><p>"So tell us a little about yourself, Reid." Spencer nervously gulped down the rest of his coffee. Was it just the stupid lighting or did Elle's eyes seem to gleam with a predatory glow as she watched him fidget.<p>

"Well I have PhDs in mathematics, chemistry and engineering, BAs in psychology and sociology and currently I'm working on philosophy." He said without thought.

Elle looked at him blankly. "Just how old are you?"

"Twenty-six," Spencer said.

"Are you a genius or something?" Emily asked in awe.

"I guess so. I mean, I have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory. I can also read 20,000 words per minute."

"You're kidding," Elle said.

"I'm not kidding," Spencer said seriously.

"Impressive," Emily muttered.

"What's impressive?"

The three of them turned to the new voice. Derek grinned and sat down next to Spencer. He looped an arm around the man's shoulder. "What'd I miss?"

"Just introductions," Spencer said with an amused grin.

Derek glanced over to the women. He smirked when he saw Emily. "Hey I'm Derek Morgan. We met this morning, remember?"

Emily wasn't impressed. "How can I forget?" she drawled.

Derek took a sip of his coffee. "Why are you mad? I didn't say anything wrong, did I?"

"No." Emily stood up. "I'm going to head back to the office now, Elle. I'll catch you later, OK?"

Elle sighed and nodded. "OK. Bye, Em."

When Emily turned and strolled out the café, Derek turned to frown at Elle. "What's up with her?"

"She thinks you were laughing at her after what happened with her mom back there," Elle said. "Her mom kinda turned her into a laughing stock at the BAU."

Derek grimaced. "That's what happened? I didn't even know! All I did was wink."

"Well she is, er, was the ambassador's daughter. It must have been a real shocker to her to see her own mother quit a job she loved and was really good at. Plus her mother was real well known," Spencer said.

"But I still didn't know," Derek pointed out. "She's way too sensitive."

"We don't know her that well to say things like that," Spencer commented.

"Yeah, whatever."

* * *

><p>It was close to four before the plane landed in the Richmond airport. Dave promised to drive them up to Quantico when they all ready to leave. Within an hour, Aaron was sitting in the front with Dave and Kitty and Edward took the back.<p>

"We're going up to visit my own estate in Washington first. Jason's meeting us there," Dave told the group as he pulled out of the airport.

"Why there?" Aaron asked.

"He wants to celebrate my coming back," Dave said sheepishly.

"That's really nice of him," Aaron said.

"It is. He's a good man, Aaron. I'm sure you'll like him," Dave said.

"Just how many of these groups are in this BAU thing?" Kitty asked.

"Four," Dave answered. "Jason leads one team and the others are led by some other top-notch profilers Strauss, herself, handpicked."

"And how many of you are in this group?" Edward asked curiously from the back.

"I'm not too sure of the details," Dave admitted. "Strauss, my superior, only told me there'd be eight of us in Jason's group and that includes some new tech girl."

"Does it really take eight people to catch a criminal?" Kitty asked.

"Ma'am, this is the FBI we're talking about. We don't handle petty thieves here. We're talking the worst-time serial killers and psychos like Bundy. Read some my books, then you'll understand."

Kitty paled slightly. "No thanks. I think I'll take a pass."

Chuckling, Dave turned a corner. "Alright. Sit tight then. We'll be there soon."


	5. Episode 1, Part 5: A Real Party

_Ran into a writer's block but it's OK now_. _Moonlighting and a heavy dose of new Criminal Minds, more reruns of Dharma & Greg and Stargate: Atlantis helped. Definitely expect more updates soon._

**Love Attracts Crazy**

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**Summary:**

CM, Dharma & Greg style A/U: When Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss meet, it's love at first sight. H/P, M/G, JJ/Reid. Team-centric. Characters crossover: Kitty, Edward & Larry.

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**Episode 1, Part 5: **"A Real Party."

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Emily Prentiss looked down at the box of papers Strauss herself handed to her.

"This is all I can do for you," Strauss said, looking her in the eyes. "The rest is up to you, Emily. If you really want the job, you'll have to make Gideon see the potential that I see in you."

"Of course, thank you," Emily said.

"Oh don't thank me because really, I should be the one thanking you," Strauss brushed off.

Emily frowned. "I uh I'm sorry? Not to sound completely ungrateful but what exactly did I do to warrant a thank you?"

Strauss smiled darkly, clasped her hands together, and leaned over the mahogany table. "Well once Jason Gideon sees that I was right about you all along, he'll come crawling on all fours, _begging_ me to take him back." Then she straightened and gestured to the open door. "Now shoo, I'm a very busy woman here."

Emily definitely didn't need to be told twice as she hastily darted out the office, in search of the legendary Gideon.

The search, of course, didn't take as long as Emily figured it would, though nearly colliding into the man and spilling coffee all over the floor wasn't the kind of first impression Emily figured either. She scrambled to her feet; silently relieved she didn't spill any of the documents on the floor, and then proceeded to mentally chastise herself for thinking so selfishly. She nearly knocked the guy off his own two feet and here Emily was wallowing in her own self-pity.

"I'm so sorry, sir. Really, really, really sorry," she said putting her box down neatly on the floor and then hurriedly dipping her hand into her coat pocket for the spare tissues she'd put in there this morning.

Emily managed to wipe some of the dark liquid from the man's suit before Gideon grabbed her hand, effectively stopping her. "It's OK," he laughed easily and helped her to her feet. "No harm, no foul, right?"

"Right," she said uneasily as she looked up, feeling her cheeks burning in embarrassment. Emily let out a gasp when she saw him, recognition suddenly in her eyes. _Oh god, it's him, isn't it? _"Are you…" she cleared her throat uncertainly and the man gave her a quizzical look. She tried again. "You wouldn't happen to be Jason Gideon would you?"

_Please oh please say no_. _Please don't tell me I almost tackled my new boss because that was so not on my list of things to do today when I woke up this morning_.

Gideon smiled and let go of Emily once he was sure she wouldn't topple over. "I am. Who's asking?"

Emily gulped nervously before spotting the box near her feet. Relieved, she dove into the box and handed the man an armful of paper. "Emily Prentiss, that is, I'm Emily Prentiss, a new recruit," she said.

Gideon looked down at the documents and then back at her in bewilderment. "I'm sorry but what?"

"Um You are Jason Gideon, the Unit Chief of Profiler Team A, aren't you?"

"Yes but who assigned you to _me_?" Gideon demanded.

"Strauss did. Erin Strauss," Emily said. "Didn't she tell you?"

"No," Gideon muttered, looking the papers over with suspicion. He tossed the papers back into the box and sighed. "Look lady – Emily, or whatever your name is, there's been some kind of mistake here. I'm going to go look into it because I sure didn't ask for _another_ new recruit." Then he stalked into the direction Emily had come from and disappeared down the corner, leaving Emily wondering how her day could possibly get any worse.

_But then what's worse than finding out the boss of your boss has a thing for your boss?_

Emily shuddered and went to get some office coffee (however bad it is).

* * *

><p>"Took you long enough to come to your senses," Strauss drawled.<p>

Gideon stalked angrily into the office. "I'm not here to talk about your damned _creepy_ fantasies about me, Erin," he said as he took a seat in front of her.

"Emily?" Strauss sighed.

"Obviously," Gideon began, "you made a mistake."

"I assure you I have not," Strauss said stiffly. "She has credibility, Jason."

"Her mother," the man in the chair snorted. "We both know Elizabeth can pull a lot of strings."

"Not so much as of late…"

"That's true," Gideon admitted reluctantly.

"But Emily isn't Elizabeth," Strauss said seriously. "Give her a chance, Jason. I really do have a feeling about her."

Gideon sighed and rubbed his head. Strauss was suddenly all business. "We both know my judgment, though far from perfect, has never failed either of us before."

"Yet," Gideon muttered.

Strauss rolled her eyes, "Yes, yet."

"Fine I'll give her a chance but if she screws up just once," Gideon let the unspoken warning hang in the air.

Strauss just smirked. "Of course. Is that all?"

* * *

><p>"You're all coming with me tonight," Gideon suddenly announced to the three occupants in the room.<p>

Spencer looked up from his science magazine, startled. Derek, in the middle of tossing a crumpled piece of paper at an unsuspecting Spencer, paused. Emily was the only one who seemed to have maintained her composure, on the outside at least. Her insides were a whole different story however.

"Now that I have your undivided attentions, I'm going to visit an old colleague of mine down in Washington tonight and you're all invited to join me," Gideon said. He looked at each of them thoughtfully, his intense gaze lingering the longest on Emily.

Emily had a feeling she knew who was behind all this. "Was it Strauss, sir?" she blurted out.

Gideon frowned and crossed his arms. "What makes you think that, agent Prentiss?"

Emily chewed her lip. _Agent_? _Since when_? _Oh it was definitely her_. "Well sir, I know you don't like me very much. I mean I haven't exactly given you a good first impression and all but if you'd give me a chance, a _real_ good chance, I can promise you this, sir, you won't regret it."

* * *

><p>Aaron walked back and forth, his mind racing. His heart thumped loudly in his chest, threatening to burst. He was really here with Dave in his estate, in <em>Virginia<em>. He was only minutes away from meeting with the world famous _Jason Gideon_. The guy who wrote all the books about Criminology and the human minds and _stuff_ like that. The guy that practically founded the BAU and caught the crazy terrorist bomber. He'd be standing face to face with a legend. He eyed Dave whom was sitting comfortably on his couch flicking through channels, a sort of bored expression on his face.

Edward and Kitty were nowhere in sight, having gone upstairs the moment they entered Dave's estate. Aaron recalled how Kitty had whispered something in her husband's ear ("_you owe me, remember?_") and dragged a reluctant Edward behind her. He and Dave heard the slam of a bedroom door before the click of the lock that sealed it shut behind them. Aaron didn't want to imagine what was going on behind_ that_ closed door. Besides, Dave's wide grin and arched eyebrow said it all.

"Calm down, Aaron."

Aaron nearly jumped out of his skin at his friend's unexpected voice. He looked up to find Dave twisting around to stare at him. Aaron looked past his friend toward the TV. It was still on but Dave had muted the sound. He looked back at his friend in bewilderment.

_Calm down?_

"I am calm," he said.

Dave shook his head, clearly not buying it at all. "You're pacing and looking at me like a psycho and there's this little edge in your voice like you're about to lose it," he said seriously.

_Am I really that obvious?_

He swallowed thickly, unsure of how to respond. The answer was as clear as day.

_Of course I'd be_. _I've never taken any special training in concealing my emotions – that's not required to be a lawyer anyway_. _Dave's been at this for decades_. _I'm a freaking novice compared to him!_

"Come on and sit," Dave said, patting the empty spot next to him.

Slowly, Aaron made his way around and slumped down on the couch. Dave then turned back to the TV screen and un-muted it. They watched a random news report about a child that'd been missing for a week now. Jason Gideon, along with his unexpected entourage, arrived fifteen minutes later.

* * *

><p>When the doorbell rang, Aaron sprang up eagerly. He went to open the door before Dave could even stand up. The sight that greeted him was certainly unexpected. Jason Gideon stood in the middle, flanked from both sides by a large black guy and a skinnier white guy. But it wasn't Gideon or the black guy or the white guy that had Aaron frozen in place, suddenly nervous as fuck like he was back on his first day at high school, his heart beating so fast he almost thought he was going to have a heart attack right on this very spot. No it was the pretty brunette haired lady that stood looking anxiously off to the side that was the cause to whatever the hell was happening to Aaron right now.<p>

"Hey there, lad, would you mind?" Gideon cleared his throat and suddenly Aaron was tossed back into reality. He silently gestured for Aaron to move so that everyone could come inside and Aaron colored nicely as he muttered a faint apology and stepped to the side so that the group could pass through. Once everyone was settled inside, Aaron quickly closed the door shut.

He felt his heart thud again as he hurriedly walked right past the brunette to Dave. _What the hell is going on_?

"Hey, Jason," Dave's loud voice boomed and the two men went up to each other and hugged tightly like best friends who haven't seen each other for a long time would do. Aaron watched with vague interest. He found his attention slipping unwittingly to the brunette woman _yet_ again. This time, however, the brunette woman noticed him and before Aaron could bend down to hide his embarrassment on getting caught watching, she grinned knowingly.

**End Episode 1**


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